Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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