dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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