I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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