i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
home. puking in laundry basket.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
