If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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