What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.