I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Farmville is her only friend.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
