pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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