i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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