and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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