Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
