Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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