We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
