Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
