I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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