Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize