the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
