Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
