so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
