No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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