kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
pray to the hookup gods
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
