Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
