sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
