Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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