how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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