part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize