so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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