i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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