Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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