she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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