you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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