We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize