dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
