the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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