So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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