how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
