Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize