There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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