i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
