we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
bring money and cleavage
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
