i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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