I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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