3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just google imaged poop.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I checked into jail on foursquare
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
