Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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