Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
