If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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