Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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