brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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