Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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