You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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