okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like iHOP with fire
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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