I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
