They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
