When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
