I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
no, he came in my armpit
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
