just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
