Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
