That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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