I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What drink are we having for lunch?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
