It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need moral support for this bender
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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