I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize