Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
