then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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