Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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