i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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