He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
