There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
