Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
